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worksomes 2: work harder

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  • Office 365 is the worst thing to ever happen to humanity. It is. Researching, developing, producing and marketing Pop Tarts that actually rape the consumer until they ultimately crumble into little soggy piles of cardboard would be less of an embarrassment to the human race. Putting cubicles on the end of astronaut training centrifuges would be just as helpful as implementing this senseless act of progress. It's like they excitedly scooped up the exiting Apple Maps gang to app-ize Office. I hate you.

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    • Spoken like someone who has never lived with a parrot.

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      • workawesome: Yesterday my wife brought me home half of a muffin from some breakfast meeting at her job. It looked very pale and undercooked, but I appreciated the effort and that she thought of me. Brought it to work this morning and sadly it was in fact not baked for as long as it should have been. After trying a couple of bites and deciding "you know what Scruff? you're a fat dude you won't starve to death between now and lunchtime if you don't muscle down the rest of this salmonella risk". When I walked over to the garbage cans in the cafeteria there was one of those big round blue tins of butter cookies with a sign telling everybody to enjoy. This in and of itself was pretty great. But then low and behold nobody had grabbed any of the pretzel shaped ones. I know that they're for the most part all the same flavor, but I got it in my head as a kid that those taste the best and have never been able to shake that belief.

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        • I'm all caught up with all the incoming mail from yesterday and was just reminded that with today being Veteran's Day there will be none today. It means Monday is gonna suck extra hard, but should have the majority of today to just b.s. on the internet to try to find happy/funny stuff to keep my mind off the country being totally fucked. So that's something.

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          • Everybody's walking around all shell-shocked like they just learned they'll be working in the mines and paid only with slow, agonizing death. To that I say, cheer up, fellows! You'll never get paid. You also might not even notice those tiny fingers violating you.

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            • I'm totally fine with knowing I'll always be poor. That was never gonna change. My concern is knowing various LGBT friends and those here on work or student visas are probably all gonna be stolen in the night and shipped to some kind of unsavory camps. Also the likelihood of Rowe Vs. Wade getting fucked with. Knowing that I have abortion as a legal backup chute in case condoms and the pill (neither of which are 100% effective) fail is the thing I've taken the most solace in for most of my adult life.

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              • also the nightmarish concern other countries will probably cease trade with us and put us in North Korea/Cuba-esque conditions.

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                • It does seem like Roe v. Wade is going to get grabbed by its v. and yanked out of there. But I'm sure it will be by the capable hands of someone with a Trump University doctorate.

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