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Why bother? 2015 (now with more pointless whining!)

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  • #26
    Have you talked to her about it, Phrank?

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    • #27
      Originally posted by Read hard View Post
      Have you talked to her about it, Phrank?
      Yeah. we've talked about it. it's not like we're just getting a house together or anything. we're gonna OWN eachother.
      I think that shit freaks me out. like, it's forever.
      if I can commit to fireleg then this should be a cakewalk!


      We got an email this morning, after I posted this stuff, and her grandparents are both not doing so well. I really like her grandfather. We share the same birthday and a similar terrible sense of humor. Over the last 6 years I've gotten really close to them. as soon as I read the email I felt like a shit heel because we're obviously in this together and the shitty anxiety/cranky/selfish shit is just me being selfish. It isn't based on anything real or factual.
      real life problems make first world problems seem so stupid.

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      • #28
        I can't wait to use the wh's grandfather is turning in his grave jokes

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        • #29
          Can't offer any sound advice on dealing with the ailing grandparents. Losing them sucks for sure. But as far as the commute part goes that's usually my favorite part of the day due largely to the playlists I make (and how much fun driving manual is). I drive about 45 minutes to an hour each way depending on traffic, but good tunes definitely do a lot to make it seem like much less time (unless I've actually got somewhere to be immediately after work in which case it seems like I'm taking forever). Congratulations on the sobriety. I have nothing but the utmost respect for that kind of will power. My knowing that I don't have it is a huge part of why I've never experimented with alcohol or drugs in the first place.

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          • #30
            Originally posted by marshall View Post
            I can't wait to use the wh's grandfather is turning in his grave jokes
            I can handle it but it's gonna be a bummer. He is an awesome dude. He's got some killer stories. He was an accountant for a mobsters back in the day. It's been a quick decline over the last two or three years. Dudes having mini strokes pretty regularly. It's not quite to the point where you wish his suffering was over but it's getting goddamned close.

            Originally posted by ScruffCardinale View Post
            Can't offer any sound advice on dealing with the ailing grandparents. Losing them sucks for sure. But as far as the commute part goes that's usually my favorite part of the day due largely to the playlists I make (and how much fun driving manual is). I drive about 45 minutes to an hour each way depending on traffic, but good tunes definitely do a lot to make it seem like much less time (unless I've actually got somewhere to be immediately after work in which case it seems like I'm taking forever). Congratulations on the sobriety. I have nothing but the utmost respect for that kind of will power. My knowing that I don't have it is a huge part of why I've never experimented with alcohol or drugs in the first place.
            Scruff, I am back to listening to the JoeRoganExperience podcast. I For how much a douchey guy he can come off as his podcast has played a pretty crucial role in my life over the last few years. Lots of positive male role model shit that you just aren't exposed to, normally. Lots of "suck it up and take control of your shit, asshole" messages.
            I listen to music at the gym so I get a good 3 hours of music in a week.


            Thanks, I guess. I wish I didn't have to exercise my will power so much, and maybe someday I won't have to. until that day though, flex your head. and all that jazz.

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            • #31
              Today is better, thanks PPMB!

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              • #32
                stop whining.

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                • #33
                  Originally posted by harry hijinks View Post
                  stop whining.
                  That's the entire fucking point of this thread!

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                  • #34
                    That's great, Phrank! A good day after a bad day is the best.


                    I'm ambivalent about today, my lectures started again after easter and I'm still on holiday and I didn't know, and I was really looking forward to that lecture. I also planned to record a song and spend the whole day on it, and play all kinds of piano and string-shit on it, but my equiptment failed me and I kind of feel a bit relieved as now I can do something else. Also, I'm not really sure what to do when I hang out with my parents, I have just two days left to spend with them before I go back to school, it's weird since I usually just come home for a couple a days and then it's easy, but now I've seen them for every day for nearly three weeks and then it gets hard to say goodbye and trying to be with them as much as I can these next days feels like I'm faking it. We usually just watch tv anyway.

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                    • #35
                      you ever get so depressed you don't want to drink?

                      i dont know if thats happening, but after last weekend, i got so messed up at the Masked Intruder show, I was hungover for 2 whole days. and my stomach got really mad at me, or maybe it was my liver... anyways, i'm still bummed but i actually don't feel like drinking. well i kinda do, but I'm not. hell i went to see some friend's bands play wed. night, and I didnt have ANYTHING but a little water to drink! and i didn't feel like I HAVE TO FUCKING GET A BEER OR SOME WHISKEY or something.

                      i'm not quitting drinking though. but at the same time, i can't even remember the last time i'd gone a week without having any booze. besides,. gotta give your liver a chance to rebuild itself a little...

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                      • #36
                        If I'm in a bad mood I can't drink, because I will only get way worse. All the ideas that you can drink away your sorrows or drink yourself to courage has no effect on me. If anything, drinking only strengthens the state I'm already in, if I'm bummed out I will get really bummed out or start to cry. If I am already happy, I will probably be cheerful to the point that it's gross. If I am nervous or anxious, I will sit with my head in hand and not talk to annoying or even ignore my closest friends. If I don't feel that nervous or anxious, I will get overly social and annoying.

                        I think if your body tells you to stop messing around with it, it's a good idea to listen though, not be a total health freak, but not take it for granted or whatever.

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                        • #37
                          Originally posted by mr. nobody View Post
                          you ever get so depressed you don't want to drink?

                          i dont know if thats happening, but after last weekend, i got so messed up at the Masked Intruder show, I was hungover for 2 whole days. and my stomach got really mad at me, or maybe it was my liver... anyways, i'm still bummed but i actually don't feel like drinking. well i kinda do, but I'm not. hell i went to see some friend's bands play wed. night, and I didnt have ANYTHING but a little water to drink! and i didn't feel like I HAVE TO FUCKING GET A BEER OR SOME WHISKEY or something.

                          i'm not quitting drinking though. but at the same time, i can't even remember the last time i'd gone a week without having any booze. besides,. gotta give your liver a chance to rebuild itself a little...
                          gotta moderate that shit so you can see every show, dawg. you've got this.
                          I had times in the past where I would get so obliterated that I'd have busted blood vessels from puking and hangovers for days. drinking couldn't cure them. nothing could. Buck up, you've got a few more days of tour left, don't you?

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                          • mr. nobody
                            mr. nobody commented
                            Editing a comment
                            tour? what? no. not me. well not til july, dawg.

                        • #38
                          I don't recommend the three-four year hangover with throwing up pretty much every time you ate or drank anything and your throat got so raw from constantly hurling that it felt like daggers in your throat when you drank booze but do it anyways and end up in the hospital twice in a year with a jaundiced body and death sitting there looking at his watch telling you to hurry up.

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                          • #39
                            How are you doing with that stuff these days (Marshall)?

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                            • #40
                              i didn't have a drink for 9-10 days. then my old friend that i've known since preschool was back in town, and we all went to the bar we used to live by and got nostalgic and stuff. then i was hungover the next day and went to a show and only had a few beers. then friday had some beers at band practices, and woke up with another sinus infection on saturday. now my sinuses are draining so much, I'm wondering if its that fluid that your brain lives in, seeping out. Its got me so achy and stuff, it makes playing Skyrim difficult! the damn draugr deathlords keep kicking my ass because i'm too busy sneezing and having snot pour out of my right nostril!!! god I hate living!

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                              • #41
                                Originally posted by nicole View Post
                                How are you doing with that stuff these days (Marshall)?
                                Doing really well. Right around 16 months sober and feeling good. Don't ever really get any cravings or urges but certain situations can still be hard to be in and I normally just try to avoid them when possible.

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                                • #42
                                  Awesome to hear!

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                                  • #43
                                    I'm going to go home and drink some tequila because its cinco de mayo still, and i'm a gringo. probably should catch up on my sleep, but nah... shittiest part of this plan is it doesn't involve SKYRIM anywhere.... FUCK!!! I'm a stupid.

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                                    • #44
                                      everything i stupid.

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                                    • #45
                                      I'm kind of messed up this week. I've started questioning everything and ask myself if I really like whatever I like(From music to everything in my life) and it really freaks me out. I start to wonder if what makes me happy is just an illusion, and it's our illusions that make us happy and that feeling really freaks me the fuck out. I feel like this is kind of a shitty state of mind to be in, but at this moment in time I can't help it. I don't know if this is a summer thing and I feel this way every summer, but I think it really struck a chord in me this time, especially since things are going kind of well.

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                                      • #46
                                        Every time I have a good time doing something somewhere, I have some sort of emotional crash afterwards... like "That was fucking amazing.........Now what?" its like, in my usual curmudgeon-ey state, my psyche (or whatever you call it) can't handle the shock of being in a good mood....

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                                        • #47
                                          I can relate to that!

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                                          • #48
                                            life is one big ball of emptiness and misery. and boo-hoo whining......... i envisioned a made up comic strip of a caricature of Earth doing the indiana jones "KALI MA" to a person, then instead of it combusting, the earth throws it on the ground, and pulls out a lighter and an aerosol can and igniting it that way...then stomping on it eventually, while pointing and laughing at the person... is that person me? is it you? is it someone in particular? whose to say....All i know is i'm whining on a message board again....

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                                            • #49
                                              yeah, but did you at least have an entertaining evening at the MTX/SW/Queers show a few weeks back? Not sure if we ever got closure on that adventure.

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                                              • mr. nobody
                                                mr. nobody commented
                                                Editing a comment
                                                i had a really good time, actually, except for getting my crotch fondled by security getting into the venue (haven't been to a larger show like this in quite some time) Chris Fields shoved Dangerous Dave accross the stage during the Queers set, and it was way more eventfuly than when Ben Weasel kicked out a punker and his girl for throwing ice at him.... it helped i was at the bar around the corner loading up on cheap drinks, so the buzz helped a lot... also Ben weasel looked like a disco ball, with this silly shirt he's been wearing lately (google it or something)

                                            • #50
                                              That's Tommy Swank!


                                              So the last month or so it dawned on me that I'm 25 and it just really bummed me out, I know it's a terrible thing to say on the PPMB where everyone is way older than me, but I just realized I've spent my entire life doing nothing and the only thing I've accomplished the last year or ever was to write a musical, that no one will ever hear probably. And I've been shamelessly proud of it, and still am, but still, I'm kind of a joke. My life is a joke, I feel like Steinways lyrics are gonna mean even more to me now. I'm happy that I'm trying to get a Master's degree, I feel like that is what a lot of old people do, but I look back on the time before the last "why bother?" thread with horror. I spent six years of my life feeling like shit, ruining my life, and accomplishing nothing. I also realize that as soon as I started going to therapy I was 17 again, those six years didn't really happen. I started actually thinking about my future and my life once I realized I had a disorder and wasn't just crazy or just an asshole. I probably am an asshole though, but that's a different story. I really really regret not seeing a professional when I was 17, I feel like my life would've been very different and it bums me out a bit thinking about how it could've been. Now I feel like everything is too late and I feel extremely old. Like I'm actually turning 26 soon.

                                              Early last year I felt like an almost well person, I almost felt normal until I experienced some shit that made me realize I was not and that I had far more issues than the ones I was starting to somewhat get over. I'm still of the opinion that in theory my life can't really be better than it is now, I'm doing something I love almost every week, and there's a chance I could also get paid for it and I meet new people all the time and it's great. I never did that before. And I can't imagine my life being this fun in three years and then I will be 29 and I feel like it would be kind of pathetic to still do the same shit. So I feel like shit will really get worse the older I get and that bums me out. I would really love to actually appreciate the fun I'm having now. Then something kind of shitty happens and I realize that life actually does suck and the petty worries I have are nothing compared to life itself.

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