pregnant people thread... NOW WITH BABIES!

[ddhex27]

Its so ugly.  Why would anyone want their kid to have an ugly cock?

[Marshall]

Its so ugly.  Why would anyone want their kid to have an ugly cock?

does anyone have a pretty cock?

[ddhex27]

does anyone have a pretty cock?

Sign me up for an extra 4 inches of pissy smelling roast beef dangling off the end, like some type of ugly mongo please.

[lucas]

I'd be lying if I said that. But seriously, how many uncircumcised dongs to do you see hanging in dudes faces from pictures on tour??

This is a man who has never met Costas Nakassis!

[ddhex27]

This is a man who has never met Costas Nakassis!

Doesn't sound like a very american name.  There's 2 strikes.

[Adam_Alive]

This is a man who has never met Costas Nakassis!

Pics or didn't happen!

[DaveNinja]

  The 5% who generally choose not to do it are white, middle to upper class, and educated

so you're saying that if you want your son to be middle or upper class, dont do it?

[ddhex27]

so you're saying that if you want your son to be middle or upper class, dont do it?

When civil war 2: No middle class Boogaloo starts in a couple of months, the last thing you want is for a male child of yours to have the marking of the beast.

[Nicole]

so you're saying that if you want your son to be middle or upper class, dont do it?

hahaha.
The foreskin is where the ambition is kept.

[colleen]

When I wake up in the morning and my bladder is full it pushes my uterus up almost to my belly button.  It's kind of cool to feel my uterus that big.  I can hear the baby's heart rate with the doppler now so I've stopped doing the ultrasounds.  I bet the baby will look HUGE at my 20 week ultrasound if I don't look at it again until then!

[SweetBox]

hahaha.
The foreskin is where the ambition is kept.

kd;laskdas.  sig'd.  comedy gold, nicole.

[repoman]

when we were in the hospital, we generally insisted that one of us go with the baby everywhere.  then again, we didn't do circ.

We did this for the first kid (except the circ).  Second kid when they asked if we wanted them to take him to the nursery so we could rest we were like "Fuck yeah!!"

[Shannon]

We did this for the first kid (except the circ).  Second kid when they asked if we wanted them to take him to the nursery so we could rest we were like "Fuck yeah!!"

Yeah, I was WAY more willing to let the baby go to the nursery with my second than my first.

[Mrs. Alive]

When I wake up in the morning and my bladder is full it pushes my uterus up almost to my belly button.  It's kind of cool to feel my uterus that big.  I can hear the baby's heart rate with the doppler now so I've stopped doing the ultrasounds.  I bet the baby will look HUGE at my 20 week ultrasound if I don't look at it again until then!

The size of my belly varies SO much over the course of a day.  It's super weird.

[billy]

We did this for the first kid (except the circ).  Second kid when they asked if we wanted them to take him to the nursery so we could rest we were like "Fuck yeah!!"

i was mainly told to go to make sure that the nurses didn't try to stick a bottle of formula in the kids mouth, since we were hoping for exclusive breastfeeding.

[Nicole]

When I wake up in the morning and my bladder is full it pushes my uterus up almost to my belly button.  It's kind of cool to feel my uterus that big.  I can hear the baby's heart rate with the doppler now so I've stopped doing the ultrasounds.  I bet the baby will look HUGE at my 20 week ultrasound if I don't look at it again until then!

I still kind of want to buy a doppler!
We don't have an ultra sound until December, but we have an appointment with our OB in a couple of weeks, he has a hand held ultra sound machine that I am crossing my fingers he will use. I am going through 'checking on the baby' withdrawals and am kind of paranoid something is wrong even though I've had no signs either way.

Do you know how far along we have to be before we stop having to have a full bladder for ultra sounds? I hate having to do that. My bladder appears to be the size of a walnut right now.

[Capnplank]

I went everywhere my second kid went at the hospital because I am a better parent than the rest of you. Especially those of you who are mothers and had to stay in their beds.

His hearing test was exciting. They put headphones on him and he didn't do shit. I was all "Do you want me to shake him vigorously to wake him up so he can raise his hands?" and they said he already passed. Then they refused to administer the ACT and SAT while he was on a roll.

[Nicole]

That's funny, I wonder how they tell if they pass if they don't react in any way?

[Ellie II]

i was mainly told to go to make sure that the nurses didn't try to stick a bottle of formula in the kids mouth, since we were hoping for exclusive breastfeeding.

did one of your moms tell you this? my mom started getting loud with nurses in the hospital about breastfeeding because she thinks it's still the 70s, and we had to send her outside to learn how to shut up.

[billy]

did one of your moms tell you this? my mom started getting loud with nurses in the hospital about breastfeeding because she thinks it's still the 70s, and we had to send her outside to learn how to shut up.

nah, this was advice from one of our granola birth class people.  both of our parents raised us on formula, so they probably wouldn't have given two shits about that shit.

[DaveNinja]

both of our parents raised us on formula, so they probably wouldn't have given two shits about that shit.

you should sue your parents for how terrible you turned out. they never even gave you a chance!

[Mrs. Alive]

i was mainly told to go to make sure that the nurses didn't try to stick a bottle of formula in the kids mouth, since we were hoping for exclusive breastfeeding.

I'm so glad I get to birth at a baby friendly hospital so I don't have to sweat that shit.

[Mrs. Alive]

did one of your moms tell you this? my mom started getting loud with nurses in the hospital about breastfeeding because she thinks it's still the 70s, and we had to send her outside to learn how to shut up.

You'd be surprised how bad a lot of hospitals are about respecting parents' feeding choices for their newborns, and how outdated a lot of nurses are in their knowledge of how babies need to be fed, gain weight, etc.  It's pretty astonishing, really.

[billy]

you should sue your parents for how terrible you turned out. they never even gave you a chance!

fuck you, my parents!

 

I'm so glad I get to birth at a baby friendly hospital so I don't have to sweat that shit.

yeah, we were in a weird situation.  we went through a midwife group that operated out of a hospital that also has its own OB practice.  the midwives were actually brought in because the hospital had a ridiculously high c-section rate, and the hope was that the midwives might be able to help move the culture in the OB practice toward more natural births.  we had a great experience with the midwives, but we definitely had to make sure that all of the nurses knew that we were with the midwives and not the OB practice.

but yeah, choosing your provider = hugely important, which is something we didn't even think about before.  we were able to wait until 9 days after the expected due date, which would never have happened with many providers including the OB providers at our hospital.  we also almost had a situation at 7 days after where the OBs would have induced us immediately, but the midwives gave us an additional 48 hours to let us go with a natural birth.  taking classes, having a doula, and working with the midwives all prepared us to tell the OBs to fuck off, and my wife had a flawless unmedicated natural birth 2 days later.

[Ellie II]

You'd be surprised how bad a lot of hospitals are about respecting parents' feeding choices for their newborns, and how outdated a lot of nurses are in their knowledge of how babies need to be fed, gain weight, etc.  It's pretty astonishing, really.

I didn't see any of that at the hospital we went to. they were ridiculously professional about that stuff in the NICU and both my kids were premature as shit.

the labor nurses were another story. they were godawful.