Homesomes

[Oil and Water]

Similar to worksomes, but for complaining about stuff that happens at home.

So yesterday the wife and I were raking leaves, which sucks since we have a ridiculously long front yard that has houses on both sides of it so it seems like every leaf from the entire neighborhood collects in our front yard when a kid who lives next door and a kid from down the block ran into our yard, jumped into a giant leaf pile I had raked up and then started kicking the leaves all over the place.

Later on though they were playing football in our front yard and they both fell in dog poop and got it all over themselves, which almost made it all worthwhile. One kid said to the other "Derrick, I think I fell in mud" and I replied "oh, that's probably dog poop" and he got all upset and ran away and then the other kid looked at his clothes and he had it all over himself too. After that they went and played in their own yard.

[ScruffCardinale]

this story is outstanding. bummer to hear about having to rake up all the leaves, but always awesome when annoying neighbors regardless of their age get away from your property without you having to yell at them.

[bort]

but for complaining about stuff that happens at home.

Anyone have any tips for getting rid of things, without your spouse finding out/missing them?   I'm considering just trashing now and paying the consequences later, but am open to advice.

[your_mother]

What kind of things are you talking about?

[Oil and Water]

Anyone have any tips for getting rid of things, without your spouse finding out/missing them?   I'm considering just trashing now and paying the consequences later, but am open to advice.

What are you trying to get rid of?

[Johney]

My girlfriends parents are apparently driving out to where we live today, and I'm assuming staying with us. I just got a phone call about this 20 minutes ago when they texted my girlfriend that they were on their way.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo

[Phronk Mortian]

What are you trying to get rid of?

oh you know...spouses and whatnots

[Ellie II]

Anyone have any tips for getting rid of things, without your spouse finding out/missing them?   I'm considering just trashing now and paying the consequences later, but am open to advice.

This only works if it's garbage day. If it's not, that shit will come right back AND the consequences.

[Oil and Water]

If you have dogs just get the dogs to chew up whatever you want to get rid of. Then it isn't your fault, it's their fault for destroying it.

[Ellie II]

My dog doesn't chew things.

[Oil and Water]

My dog doesn't chew things.

Put some peanut butter or something else on whatever you want the dog to chew.

[repoman]

Anyone have any tips for getting rid of things, without your spouse finding out/missing them?   I'm considering just trashing now and paying the consequences later, but am open to advice.

My wife comes from a family that saves everything. Not really hoarders but they save anything of value.   So what I do is put it in a box in the attic or basement and let it fester there for a year or two then I take it to goodwill or the garbage.  If she hasn't used something or asked about it's whereabouts in 2 years chances are she'll never miss it.

[Ellie II]

Put some peanut butter or something else on whatever you want the dog to chew.

you are disgusting.

[repoman]

Similar to worksomes, but for complaining about stuff that happens at home.

So yesterday the wife and I were raking leaves, which sucks since we have a ridiculously long front yard that has houses on both sides of it so it seems like every leaf from the entire neighborhood collects in our front yard when a kid who lives next door and a kid from down the block ran into our yard, jumped into a giant leaf pile I had raked up and then started kicking the leaves all over the place.

Later on though they were playing football in our front yard and they both fell in dog poop and got it all over themselves, which almost made it all worthwhile. One kid said to the other "Derrick, I think I fell in mud" and I replied "oh, that's probably dog poop" and he got all upset and ran away and then the other kid looked at his clothes and he had it all over himself too. After that they went and played in their own yard.

Mulching lawnmowers are great for not raking leaves.

[bort]

Oh let's see...

- Candlebox (wedding gift from 9 years ago)
- One of those "relaxing" decorative fountain things that dribbles water
- Popcorn popper from a garage sale that we've had for a few years and never use
- 4th set of extra dishes
- 10 ice cream sundae dishes that we never use. 

Me: "And if we did use them, we only need two!"

Her: "But what about when we have company?"

Me: "We never have company!"

Note - Everything is in the basement.  Some stuff is in it's original packaging.   

[Johney]

Use that popcorn popper, those things are awesome!

[bort]

Eh, I have a pot.  And I know how to use the stove.

[Oil and Water]

Mulching lawnmowers are great for not raking leaves.

I wanted to do this and Mallory said it was a bad idea! We have a leaf blower, but the wind was blowing the opposite direction of the way the leaves needed to go so it was almost useless.

[repoman]

The mulching lawnmower is great.  Go over the leaves twice and they are pretty much chopped to bits.  By spring there is no trace of them. 

[lushj]

Anyone have any tips for getting rid of things, without your spouse finding out/missing them?

BH tries to do this to me all the time. I'm not a hoarder, but I definitely fall on the "wait, it might be useful some day!" side of the spectrum.

Unfortunately for her, I put out the garbage so I'm able to save stuff that shouldn't actually go out or should at least be recycled/given away.

Unfortunately for me, when caught she pulls the "it's been sitting there, unused, for 5 years" card, and not being an idiot, I have to kind of agree with her. (Unless it's something we REALLY need, like those coffee table books of communist propaganda) Doh!

[dre]

my neighbor swept and bagged all the leaves from the sidewalks on our block yesterday, and a few hours later some kid came along, kicked one of the bags over, and started picking it up to dump the leaves right back out. i went out to play the adult and yell at him, but the neighbor lady beat me to the punch. she was mad! she did not even find it mildly amusing like i did. kids!

[Jenny Incompetence]

My roommate bought a cactus and put it on a tiny shelf that I usually walk into. This will not end well.

[Grath]

We have a washer/dryer in our basement.  We do laundry up the street.

[Harry Hijinks]

kid leaves arm sized turd in the basement crapper on the reg. caught dog trying to eat it.

[Grath]

The owner of our building thinks that a ratty old yellow pillowcase is an awesome substitute for a wipe-your-feet floor mat.  It's not.