HOT BUTTERED CUCUMBER ASS SALAD

[Warsau Joe]

well, between donut hurling and nut sack kicking, this is gonna be a hell of a show!

[Ellie]

you should have just said that your vagina is already wicked awesome.

I heard it could be just slightly more buttery.

[Another Adam]

But that's the extent of my testicular assault resume.

He didn't say anything about salting the nuts.

[OHZombie]

Wow.  I log in today...to see this thread. Wow.


I'd be compelled to add some sugar to an already hot buttered vagina.

[jesuit master]

I have to say that advising a woman to put butter in her vagina is highly questionable, at best.  You're losing some hard won credibility here, Rudi.

Where's Dr. Amanda when you need her?

JENNA...there is always logic to my actions. Look at it from another point of view. Millions are dying from unprotected sex (evil). A woman loses satisfaction because her husband is not studly and the relationship falters threatening the family (evil).
Men and Women engage is questionable sexual activities to satisfy a sex drive...why...bored with the common orgasm.
Heavy men and or heavy women have pelvis bumping issues, add small penis or birth to 4 kids. now sex is almost disgusting.
Then we have Erectile Dysfunction which can devastate a relationship.

I do a couples sex therapy workshop and this is a tool I created to solve problems.
For male or female masturbation it is a winner. Sexual intercourse is a foregone conclusion to be improved upon.
You are correct about yeast...use margerine....or chocalate syrup...honey...

Live on the edge...you get quite a view from here.

Oh...and in response to the Popes Position...I am his Home Boy. The Second Vatican Council banned my order decades ago.
I am the last of the Vatican Knights. Thousand of years of tradition end here. Learn what you can. Time is short.

All priests know the Cucumber trick LOL; Benedict the XVI grows his own.

Uh Oh...now weve gone and stirred the soup.

There are not many priests who speak Punkease. At least I'm trying.

[bort]

and once again the awesomeness of the board triumphs over the lameness of the bored.

[Matt]

JENNA...there is always logic to my actions. Look at it from another point of view. Millions are dying from unprotected sex (evil). A woman loses satisfaction because her husband is not studly and the relationship falters threatening the family (evil).
Men and Women engage is questionable sexual activities to satisfy a sex drive...why...bored with the common orgasm.
Heavy men and or heavy women have pelvis bumping issues, add small penis or birth to 4 kids. now sex is almost disgusting.
Then we have Erectile Dysfunction which can devastate a relationship.

I do a couples sex therapy workshop and this is a tool I created to solve problems.
For male or female masturbation it is a winner. Sexual intercourse is a foregone conclusion to be improved upon.
You are correct about yeast...use margerine....or chocalate syrup...honey...

Live on the edge...you get quite a view from here.

Oh...and in response to the Popes Position...I am his Home Boy. The Second Vatican Council banned my order decades ago.
I am the last of the Vatican Knights. Thousand of years of tradition end here. Learn what you can. Time is short.

All priests know the Cucumber trick LOL; Benedict the XVI grows his own.

Uh Oh...now weve gone and stirred the soup.

There are not many priests who speak Punkease. At least I'm trying.

JM, any further sex advice you could offer would be much appreciated -- preferably advice that doesn't incorporate food, though.  Got any good stuff, or are you going to hold out on us, you old dog you!?

[OHZombie]

Only on a Punk Bored could I get away with this.
It's OK, Mel...I'm just communicating.
You will need A LARGE CUCUMBER (something challenging).
A stick of butter, a spoon and a MICROWAVE oven.
Cut the end off the CUKE and hollow it out with the spoon.
Stick the CUKE in a microwave for 90 seconds.
Stick the butter in a body cavity. (preferably your partners)
Stick the CUKE on the end of a penis. (be careful or you will parbroil your nuts)
Insert hot CUKE on a shaft into buttered vagina (or whatever)
HANG ON...it is going to be an experience.
Every woman becomes a virgin again and every man is hung like the total stud.
Solves FATTY sex problems as well.
The CUKE suctions to a penis when you heat it.
This is hysterical..once you have gone CUKE you will never go back and your friends will always eye their salads with suspicion when you invite them over to dinner.
Go to www.cia-stargate.org and click on College Campus Tour for more.

Sincerely...Jesuit Master
PS...don't tell Mel about this...he has plenty on his plate withoput the salad LOL

I'm going to have to ask Sue Johannsen if this is even legal in my state...let alone safe.

[mark]

I read most of this thread, but I fail to see how the "ASS" is incorporated into the "HOT BUTTERED CUCUMBER ASS SALAD"

All I heard about was wearing a cucumber on your cock and shoving it in a vagina, but no mention of ass.  It's a little misleading.

[Mrs. Alive]

I read most of this thread, but I fail to see how the "ASS" is incorporated into the "HOT BUTTERED CUCUMBER ASS SALAD"

All I heard about was wearing a cucumber on your cock and shoving it in a vagina, but no mention of ass.  It's a little misleading.

That's where you put the salad.

Duh.

[mark]

That's where you put the salad.

Duh.

That's making a huge leap of faith.  I mean c'mon.  Based on the title, I was expecting a recipe

[Mrs. Alive]

That's making a huge leap of faith. 

A Vatican exorcist would expect nothing less.

[OHZombie]

Based on the title, I was expecting a recipe

I'm pretty sure this is a recipe...a recipe for disaster.

[BigTasty]

I'm pretty sure this is a recipe...a recipe for awesome.

[OHZombie]

Who can forget this PPMB classic thread!!

[BigTasty]

Who can forget this PPMB classic thread!!

OH man...Good times!

Jesuit Master vs Mel Gibson was the best.

[OHZombie]

OH man...Good times!

Jesuit Master vs Mel Gibson was the best.

YES!!!

What happened to that thread?!!

[goose]

A lady in Halifax who wrote some type of "edgy" sex column for a now defunct local paper got fired for writing about a masturbation method for men that described hollowing out a melon and heating it, then banging the melon. She mentioned how the juices dripping around your sack would feel great.

[Ellie]

that reminds me of the housewife who invented the clit-sucking device that attaches neatly to your vacuum cleaner, which she got the idea for by sucking her twat off with her vacuum cleaner one day, and then told the story to reporters.