Topic: The Quickest Way To Get Laid...NOW! (Read 1039 times)

jesuit master · « **on:** June 20, 2007, 07:23:26 AM »

A friend of mine was visiting me at Indiana University...sorta that red headed, scruffy country boy type.
He was a high school junior well over his head I thought with these hot college chicks swarming on Kirkwood this Saturday night.

Eying the girls with a wry smile he turned to me and offered his apology.
"Sorry to leave you alone brother but I gotta have some of this", he chided and went to work.

One after the other, boldly, unabashed he asked every girl as she passed the same rhetorical question.
"Hi, I'm Tom. It is too pretty a night to spend it alone. Want to go shoot a game of pool and eat a few chicken wings? (he was friggin 17 and I was 20)

Maybe it was six or seven but within 90 secods he had a taker and wisked her away.
An hour later he was back on Kirkwood.
"Didn't work out I laughed".
What...he responded...oh no...I got in her pants."
"You didn't have time!"
"Yeah..I Know. When we got to the top of the stairs I asked her if we could skip the pool and wings and screw."
"Sorry Rog but I have to get back to work...Excuse me, Miss, I don't mean to be bold but it's just too nice a night...
AND HE WAS GONE...in about 90 seconds. I don't think be bought the first wing but I would wager he plucked some chicken that weekend.

I suspect it would work the same for women. Don't know.

TahoeJeff · « **Reply #1 on:** June 20, 2007, 07:33:25 AM »

Of course it would work for women, Rog. In fact, she could probably skip the cheesy pick up line all together. If a girl walks up to a guy and simply said, "Hey, you wanna go screw?", I don't think she'd have a hard time finding a taker.

SockhopShindig · « **Reply #2 on:** June 20, 2007, 07:38:50 AM »

I, personally, don't think this would work at 7:30am. What woman wants to go eat chicken wings and play pool so early in the morning?

Chuck · « **Reply #3 on:** June 20, 2007, 07:40:17 AM »

Quote from: SockhopShindig on June 20, 2007, 07:38:50 AM

I, personally, don't think this would work at 7:30am. What woman wants to go eat chicken wings and play pool so early in the morning?

Party girls of course!

JimJerseyBeat · « **Reply #4 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:29:31 PM »

This seems like a much better strategy than Kurt's modus operandi of playing Candyland with them first.

This also seems like a good way to get arrested for rape.

Another Adam · « **Reply #5 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:43:09 PM »

Dammit.

I really needed the thread on "The Quickest Way to Get Laid.... Last Night!"

This info is pretty useless to me know while I'm at work.

JonRob · « **Reply #6 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:46:34 PM »

ChaddDerkins · « **Reply #7 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:47:15 PM »

Dudes, I went to a college called Mitchell College, and there were a lot of retarded guys there. Like literally, guys with downs syndrome. Anyways, one of them (who also happened to be a redhead) stood at this one spot on campus every day and hit on every girl who walked by, always with the same pick up line. That pick up line was "This weather is so nice, we should take advantage of it before it gets cold". I am not sure if this ever worked for him or not, but it seems similar to your friend's approach.

llivermore · « **Reply #8 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:50:55 PM »

Quote from: jesuit master on June 20, 2007, 07:23:26 AM

Eying the girls with a rye smile

Unless his smile could somehow be compared to a loaf of bread, I think you mean "wry."

Matt · « **Reply #9 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:51:21 PM »

This shit actually probably would work, eventually.

lushj · « **Reply #10 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:52:20 PM »

My favorite pickup line is "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

Works every time!

Jenna · « **Reply #11 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:52:48 PM »

So no one else is getting as sick of this as I am?

lushj · « **Reply #12 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:53:09 PM »

Quote from: JimJerseyBeat on June 20, 2007, 12:29:31 PM

This also seems like a good way to get arrested for rape.

Why?

JonRob · « **Reply #13 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:53:25 PM »

Quote from: Matt on June 20, 2007, 12:51:21 PM

This shit actually probably would work, eventually.

Or you could pay a hooker and use the pick up line on her...I'm guessing it would probably do the trick.

llivermore · « **Reply #14 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:53:36 PM »

Quote from: Matt on June 20, 2007, 12:51:21 PM

This shit actually probably would work, eventually.

It's just a truncated version of what goes on in bars and on street corners and college dorms and even at pop-punk shows every day and night of the week anyway.

lucas · « **Reply #15 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:55:21 PM »

Quote from: llivermore on June 20, 2007, 12:50:55 PM

Unless his smile could somehow be compared to a loaf of bread, I think you mean "wry."

I agree, Larry. Also, wasn't that Unabomber Manifesto totally full of typos? I can't believe no one else noticed them.

llivermore · « **Reply #16 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:56:13 PM »

Quote from: lucas on June 20, 2007, 12:55:21 PM

I agree, Larry. Also, wasn't that Unabomber Manifesto totally full of typos? I can't believe no one else noticed them.

Lucas <--- appreciates the important things in life.

Warsau Joe · « **Reply #17 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:56:33 PM »

Quote from: Jon Robinson on June 20, 2007, 12:53:25 PM

Or you could pay a hooker and use the pick up line on her...I'm guessing it would probably do the trick.

lushj · « **Reply #18 on:** June 20, 2007, 12:57:32 PM »

Quote from: warsaujoe on June 20, 2007, 12:56:33 PM

I noticed that too- damn you Joe! Too fast for these clumsy digits!

jesuit master · « **Reply #19 on:** June 20, 2007, 02:37:06 PM »

Quote from: Jenna on June 20, 2007, 12:52:48 PM

So no one else is getting as sick of this as I am?

OK...pick a topic that has nothing at all to do with sex...bet u $5 you can't!
Carefull...Mel is on the hookfor a mil.

OH...Catholics often misspell phonically. It was old world teaching in 50's.