The Quickest Way To Get Laid...NOW!

[angry ryan]

A friend of mine had what told me was a full proof plan to get laid. He would leave porn in his DVD player, bring the unassuming girl back to his place, say something like "Well, let's see what's on TV." then press play on the DVD player and do his best "WHOOPSIES!" facial expression. This was supposed to get the girl in the mood and sex would commence immediately.

So the one time he tried it it actually worked, but he felt so sleazy that he couldn't go through with it.

It was Trevor.

[Mrs. Alive]

A friend of mine had what told me was a full proof plan to get laid. He would leave porn in his DVD player, bring the unassuming girl back to his place, say something like "Well, let's see what's on TV." then press play on the DVD player and do his best "WHOOPSIES!" facial expression. This was supposed to get the girl in the mood and sex would commence immediately.

So the one time he tried it it actually worked, but he felt so sleazy that he couldn't go through with it.

It was Trevor.

Right, but who was the guy with the dvd player?

[ghettoblaster]

"fuck me if i'm wrong, but you want to blow me."

[angry ryan]

Right, but who was the guy with the dvd player?

You caught me?

It was actually another friend of mine: Link.

I just kid with Trevor because it's my sick, sad way of showing appreciation.

[Trevor]

You caught me?

It was actually another friend of mine: Link.

I just kid with Trevor because it's my sick, sad way of showing appreciation.

Damn straight.  You love me.  Plus, who are we kidding, I never get laid.

[angry ryan]

Oh, Trevor. 

[Trevor]

Oh, Trevor. 

Are you trying to say you're available?  I mean, we gay it up enough when we talk about comic books, video games, and the best sitcom from the 80s...but, we could take it to the next level.

[hanny]

i feel like The Master is a spam bot gone wrong.

[Mrs. Alive]

i feel like The Master is a spam bot gone wrong.

Dittoes.

[OHZombie]

I'm wondering if his insanity prevents him from holding down a job or if he just goes to work and nobody knows anything about it, and then he gets off work, goes home, and just goes nuts on the internet.

[angry ryan]

Are you trying to say you're available?  I mean, we gay it up enough when we talk about comic books, video games, and the best sitcom from the 80s...but, we could take it to the next level.

Small Wonder BTW.

[jesuit master]

There were 10 at the table. The TV cost $134. I took you to Wal-Mart to get it. Quit being crazy!

And second and third place. My we seem to remember only what is convienent
opps..we forgot...you've been so accurate on everything so far.
One of the players was TEDDY...the free play homeless guy...8 actually put up cash and one refused.
Prior to that moment you donated what again?
Since then you have given...?
Don't forget all the gifts we had every week for the other 3 months you played....you gave what?
Then...the one time I tried to get folks to think about the homeless the game is disbanded the next day when the owner, Chris Karl, informed me you all complained that I asked for a donation and you were offended.
He said the winner complained but there were three so maybe not you.
Thanks for all your support, Lucas.
Everyone applauds you. Your my hero, pal.

Winner got first choice, then second place, third place.(TV was cheapest gift) and everyone got a choice of gifts on the wall.
Lucas remembers only what HE took as his winnings. That should not be suprising to any.
OK, Lucas, you have the shovel...dig the whole.

[jesuit master]

I'm wondering if his insanity prevents him from holding down a job or if he just goes to work and nobody knows anything about it, and then he gets off work, goes home, and just goes nuts on the internet.

AH...you want to know how I earn a living. I think I can help you with that. Let's start a new thread.

LOL...now he's gone and done it.

The first business deal I ever made was with George Bush for the founding of the DEA ( I was 21); $30 million but a string was attached.
Noriega had to surrender to the Catholic Church on Christmas Eve and John Paul II had to turm him over to the US for trial.
I suppose you think it is just a coincidence we invaded Panama on Christmas Eve...SURE IT WAS...whatever citizen.
The movie was called "Noriega...God's Favorite."...another coincidence?
Here is your new thread.

[lucas]

And second and third place. My we seem to remember only what is convienent
opps..we forgot...you've been so accurate on everything so far.
One of the players was TEDDY...the free play homeless guy...8 actually put up cash and one refused.
Prior to that moment you donated what again?
Since then you have given...?
Don't forget all the gifts we had every week for the other 3 months you played....you gave what?
Then...the one time I tried to get folks to think about the homeless the game is disbanded the next day when the owner, Chris Karl, informed me you all complained that I asked for a donation and you were offended.
He said the winner complained but there were three so maybe not you.
Thanks for all your support, Lucas.
Everyone applauds you. Your my hero, pal.

Winner got first choice, then second place, third place.(TV was cheapest gift) and everyone got a choice of gifts on the wall.
Lucas remembers only what HE took as his winnings. That should not be suprising to any.
OK, Lucas, you have the shovel...dig the whole.

Sounds like someone wasn't running a very efficient charity poker game, huh?

A non-crazy person might have tried to have the prizes be worth less than the donations.

[OHZombie]

Sounds like someone wasn't running a very efficient charity poker game, huh?

A non-crazy person might have tried to have the prizes be worth less than the donations.

I can't believe you got to meet this guy.


Were you at any time scared?

[Rusty]

Thanks for the tip.

[lucas]

Further, when did the second and third place people get their prizes?

Did you go back to Yogis after I drove you home and make each of them drive you to Wal-Mart individually?

Or did the CIA just deliver their prizes straight to them?

[JohnnyB]

AH...you want to know how I earn a living. I think I can help you with that. Let's start a new thread.

LOL...now he's gone and done it.

The first business deal I ever made was with George Bush for the founding of the DEA ( I was 21); $30 million but a string was attached.
Noriega had to surrender to the Catholic Church on Christmas Eve and John Paul II had to turm him over to the US for trial.
I suppose you think it is just a coincidence we invaded Panama on Christmas Eve...SURE IT WAS...whatever citizen.
The movie was called "Noriega...God's Favorite."...another coincidence?
Here is your new thread.

The DEA is a federal agency. Why would they pay you to found it? Not to mention it came about under Nixon.

[jesuit master]

Further, when did the second and third place people get their prizes?

Did you go back to Yogis after I drove you home and make each of them drive you to Wal-Mart individually?

Or did the CIA just deliver their prizes straight to them?

They were all lined against the wall...Only first place had to go to Wal-Mart.
Ten gifts and ten players...you keep avoiding all the rest; sorta like you are embarassed to admit you never gave a dime.
Keep digging...I suspect many may be confounded by the CIA trivia but I also suspect they know what really happened now at the poker game. Your original post was dramatic, self-centered drama. You are not fooling anyone now.

Besides...nobody really cares, Lucas. Why don't you start a new thread of "What I Have Done To Help My Fellow Man"
Keep it short.

[OHZombie]

I'm wondering if his insanity prevents him from holding down a job or if he just goes to work and nobody knows anything about it, and then he gets off work, goes home, and just goes nuts on the internet.

AH...you want to know how I earn a living. I think I can help you with that. Let's start a new thread.

LOL...now he's gone and done it.

The first business deal I ever made was with George Bush for the founding of the DEA ( I was 21); $30 million but a string was attached.
Noriega had to surrender to the Catholic Church on Christmas Eve and John Paul II had to turm him over to the US for trial.
I suppose you think it is just a coincidence we invaded Panama on Christmas Eve...SURE IT WAS...whatever citizen.
The movie was called "Noriega...God's Favorite."...another coincidence?
Here is your new thread.

I think that about clears everything up.

[Mrs. Alive]

Further, when did the second and third place people get their prizes?

Did you go back to Yogis after I drove you home and make each of them drive you to Wal-Mart individually?

Or did the CIA just deliver their prizes straight to them?

Also, if there were $400 in prizes, and first prize was worth $130, that means that second and third prizes were worth about the same.  You got totally gypped, Lucas.

[OHZombie]

I think I'm gonna choose to start believing that this is the most elaborate fake account ever created.


It's too much to handle any other way.

[Trevor]

Small Wonder BTW.

ALF!!!

[Trevor]

Also, I love this "on the attack" Lucas.  It's almost as good as Sassy Dorsey.  Neither should be messed with.

[jesuit master]

I think I'm gonna choose to start believing that this is the most elaborate fake account ever created.


It's too much to handle any other way.

Now you are catching on....knew you would. I'm a pretty famous science fiction author. I have always claimed to be fictional. Sure...there is a bit of madness but that is to keep you interested enough to solve the puzzle. It is my belief that we are a race of spiritual beings with incredible abilities. IMMORTAL! We live from life to life for all times. But..we have a defense mechanism at rebirth that prevents us from remembering previous lives. What fun would this life be if we knew we were immortal and had "god" like abilities. (read my book STRANGER in a STRANGE LAND).

As a child I had memories and knowledge that was unexplainable. At the age of six I saw a news broadcast about a Hindu priest, himself only 10, who was lecturing in Indianapolis. (sure they let me out of the cage...a very long story)
so I left, caught a bus and found the building. I walked past the crowd of thousands to the stage on then up the stairs. Security moved to intercept me but the young master ordered them away and I sat beside him on the stage. He smiled and gave me a kiss.
"Are there many of us I enquired?.
His answer was what I suspected.
He gestured his hand out at the auditorium..."we are all brothers of the same father"
I thanked him and left.

You are an immortal spirit residing in a shell that will wither and die.

You...however...can never die. With my massive IQ I knew that the colony coming to a state of enlightenment was why I was here. The answer was the youth for the purpose of creating a host for the Karma to grow but at the same time many problems threatened the colony...drugs...war...sexual disease...madness...starvation...
I joined the FED to get inside the system so I could make corrections to the program. Then I created a superhero the kids would accept, I hoped, and who by his amazing life could get there attention and help them realize their potential.
(bring the colony to s state of enlightenment)

I live on a farm in Nashville Indiana. Soon I will pass from this life. I will never know the outcome of my efforts. Perhaps I am just a madman and there is nothing more to any of this than that. If you go to www.cia-stargate.org and click on the "The Game Begins Here" icon you will see a full page ad in the Hollywood Reporter that will explain it all.

Sincerely,
Donovan R. Berlin S.J.
Director:The Central Intelligence Agency of the United States...SMILE
Remember...it is just a science fiction story.
NOW....Back to Mel Gibson...he only did 1 Hail Mary to remember the verse...he still owes me 9,999, an apology, 1 million dollars or the movie. I must be about collecting my debts...have a great life kid.