I Will Give $12.49 To The Last Person That Posts In This Thread

[llivermore]

10/10/11: Four years ago today (not counting leap year) was the beginning of the greatest/stupidest thread ever to (dis)grace the PPMB!!!  In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought of raising the price to $40, or even $400.  But then I figured, nah, I'll bump up it to $10.01 and the masses can be grateful for what they get!

Fuck all that gobbledygook below. The title is self-explanatory.  NO MORE HURRICANE!!!!

STILL MORE RECENT UPDATE (10/4/10)

As per Enoch's suggestion, we will not be donating the entire $300 to the PPMB. 

Instead, we will donate $299, leaving a grand total of $1 (one dollar) as the prize for winning this thread.  This amount will increase by approximately $.01 (one cent) per day, perhaps more on special occasions, perhaps less when I forget or don't bother.

LATEST UPDATE (9/29 CREW DAY, 2010)

Ok, folks, this has gone on long enough and eaten more bandwidth than it deserves.  I think it's time to end the contest (you're still free to come here and hang out and spew nonsense if you want) and donate the $300 to the PPMB which has been our gracious and patient host all this time.  Disagree?  Feel free to say so.  Alternatively, win the contest before Monday, Oct. 4, 2010.  Otherwise, the 300 smackeroos are going to Enoch!

Important Update:

Okay, here's how the new system works.  Pay attention, folks, it's not that complicated, but I don't want to have to be answering endless questions from people who just didn't read carefully.

This is how the prize money will be determined from now on: I will go to the website random.org and ask it to generate a random number between 1 and 300.  This number will be the prize.  Next I will use random.org to do a virtual coin flip.  Heads means the prize number will be expressed in dollars.  Tails means it will be in cents.  Example: the random number generated is 247.  If the coin flip comes up heads, the prize will be $247.  If it comes up tails, $2.47.

Lastly, I will use random.org to generate a number between 1 and 10.  This is the number of days that the prize will be available.  At the end of that time (or later, if I happen to be away or otherwise don't happen to have computer access), the process will be repeated and a new prize amount set. 

This system will be operational until someone wins or until I decide to replace it with an even better one.

Now added: Continuants' penny!

I'm afraid the $200 thread is in danger of stagnating.  So we're going to try a little experiment, and hopefully at the same time increase the chances of someone winning this thing before it eats up the entire Bored's bandwidth.

So, starting today, the prize goes down by 1¢ for each day someone doesn't win it.  Well, maybe not every day, but as often as I get around to changing it.  Then perhaps we will see if there is a point at which people start thinking there's not enough money involved to make it worth keeping up with.  And perhaps someone will finally WIN!

If, on other hand, it gets down to $0 and there still hasn't been a winner, the prize money starts going up again!  One way or another we will reach equilibrium!!

Yes We Can!!!  In honor of the greatest election victory and most hopeful political development in perhaps my entire life, the prize money for this thread is now officially DOUBLED.  $200, baby!!!!  Same rules apply, so make this happen!!!

PFF (Post-Fest Fever) Update: In a mad burst of good feeling engendered by the BFE (Best Fest EVER), the prize money for this competition has been DOUBLED!  This may or may not be a permanent rise in the prize (nice rhyme use there, eh?).  Let's just say for now that it holds true through Labor Day.  Good luck, everyone!

Pentecost/Whitsun/Mothers Day update: Okay, now it's $50.  You've waited a long time for this lousy $5 raise, and who knows how long it will be till there's another one.  Or IF there will ever be another one.  Possible prize-raising events to consider: Flag Day, the Fest, Independence Day, the Assumption, Labor Day/Bottomfest.  But no promises.  For now it's just you and $50.  You know how the game goes.

Easter Sunday/end of Lent update: $45.  You guys know the drill by now.

Feb. 21 update: To hell with Pappy.  If he doesn't want to play the Fest, it's his loss, right?

Presidents Day update: The thread has now been renamed in honor of the people's demand that Pappy give something back to his friends and fans who are helping him create "The Longest Thread" by playing this summer's Fest!  In order to further that cause, I hereby pledge that if no one has won the prize by Fest time, whatever that prize may be (at present it's scheduled to be $50), I will double the prize money and donate it to the Fest so that Pappy's fee can be increased by a corresponding amount.

You can support that cause by signing all your posts, whether in this thread or "The Longest Thread," or for that matter, in any thread, with:

PLAY THE FEST, PAPPY!

Ash Wednesday update: the prize money is now $35.  The first time this thread goes 24 hours without anyone posting in it, the last person to have posted gets $35.  In order to win, the thread has to be open and available for posting to any and all, so locking the thread or otherwise interfering with people's ability to post will win you nothing.  Periods when the board is unavailable due to a system crash, routine maintenance, or any other reason, don't count toward the 24 hours.

Although I can post at any time, I am ineligible to win and my posts don't count.  In other words, if nobody but me has posted for 24 hours, the last person other than me to have posted still wins.

All are eligible to participate, and posting in or winning other threads operating along similar lines will not disqualify you.  However, if you attempt to interfere with others' ability to participate in this thread, either by threats, promises of rewards, or sabotage, you are disqualified until such time as the behavior for which you were disqualified ceases.

If this thread has not been won by the end of Lent, i.e., Easter Sunday, the prize money will increase to $45.  If it has not been won by Pentecost (Whitsunday), the prize money will increase to $50.

[Christian]

haha

[Another Adam]

This guy, he's too clever by half.

[Carla Monoxide]

        \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[Harry Hijinks]

pay me $20 and i'll delete my account.

[Another Adam]

Hey, if someone in the $5 thread would be happy with $7.50, maybe we can talk.

[llivermore]

        \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

New rule: your post must contain at least one English word. 

Fuck with this rule and I will further amend it to insist that post a coherent English sentence, which will eliminate about half of you from the get-go. 

[Another Adam]

Buhuh?

[Harry Hijinks]

can you define coherent? I want to be clear on the rules larry.

[simple]

This idea took longer than I thought. I guess we are all cheap.

[Carla Monoxide]

New rule: your post must contain at least one English word. 

Fuck with this rule and I will further amend it to insist that post a coherent English sentence, which will eliminate about half of you from the get-go. 

 

[llivermore]

can you define coherent? I want to be clear on the rules larry.

Coherent has not yet been added to the rules, Jon.  Hopefully it won't need to be.

So we don't need to go into that right now.

[Harry Hijinks]

ok, thank you for the clarification.

[rockrobot]

This has got to be your idea for getting people to stop posting in the $5 thread so you can win.

[Pleasedontrock]

Soon the board will be nothing but us all offering each other money to keep posting meaningless garbage.

[hanny]

larry, is that american english or can i use the queen's?

[llivermore]

larry, is that american english or can i use the queen's?

Any spelling acceptable in an English-speaking country will pass muster here.

For purposes of clarity and at the risk of being called xenophobic, we will limit those countries to:

United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Republic of Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa.

[hanny]

so we can use g'day?

[llivermore]

so we can use g'day?

Enough of your petty pettifoggery, Hanny!

Cool it or you will be BANNED!

[hanny]

yes, sir. you're the one with the deep pockets.

[Olmsted]

the pressure... the rules...

[rockrobot]

the pressure... the rules...

If you can't handle it, I understand. I'm sure other people will too.

[llivermore]

the pressure... the rules...

The rules are simple: last person to post in this thread for 24 hours gets $10 - as long as he or she also hasn't posted in the $5 thread for the previous 24 hours.  Your post must contain at least one English word.

That's it. 

As far as pressure, no pressure at all.  If you don't want $10, don't participate.  What could be easier?

[Warsau Joe]

Soon the board will be nothing but us all offering each other money to keep posting meaningless garbage.

too late

[Pete_Repellent]

I am eating a PB Twix.